Finally, Gx and I formed our very own family with our little girl on 10th June 2009! It didnt happen easily. We got married in 2005 and went thru quite abit before i conceived and even before Rachel arrived, we had to face scares! Brief history 1st. In 2007, i started feeling terrible pain before menstration and the back pain was unbearable every morning and it was difficult to get up from bed! that happened sometime in March. I was recommended Dr Peter Chew. Went thru some test and i had diagnosed to have a fibroid in my womb. His suggestion was to remove it and allow him to clean up my womb. So sometime end April or early May, i went to have it removed. Didnt like this gynae as he never really answers my questions. if i ask for alternatives, he's not keen to say much and i dun like as i felt insecure as i dun get much info from this dr! This is my personal experience not trying to frame the dr and its oso personal preference. then rested till end of the year as i sort of suffered phobia from my 1st operation, not ready for the pain and wasnt informed that i needed 3 weeks to rest after the op. (thats why i dun like as i asked if i could go back to work soon after the op and i was told yes and no worries and i wasnt prep for the after op pain!)
mum came after me for very long always asking me to ask for 2nd opinion and as i promised at year end, i went to visit the gynae who delievered me in 1977! he sent me to do some test and i teared like mad as the xray taken was painful! but was glad when the results came back normal (wonder if that was the truth! cos after the delivery, he told my husband it was a miracle that we had this baby and it was a difficult delivery.... yet to ask why he said it was a miracle!) this gynae is always smiling, very patient and always give me answers to my long list of questions! i ask him what should i do, eat, prep myself for baby before conceive. meeting such a happy gynae, gx and i made changes to our lifestyles. i prep breakfast goody bag for him, its has either bread or cake, definitely fruits and cube cheese! my goody bag is bigger than his as i prep stuf for lunch and i have yogurt, yakult, nuts and i took folic acid more religiously. also i took up pilates. i cut down on carbonated drinks and replaced it with juice. tried to eat dinner more often at home. i have to say i did pray hard too... then we had good news in sept 2008!
i have to say i enjoyed my pregnancy! i was a happy mother-to-be but at times i can be very grouchy! blame it on hormones? very fast-tempered sometimes esp when things dun go the way i want... i suffered from once a day nite sickness and it stopped immediately once i was 3 months preg. ate well somehow stayed off fast food as it didnt stay well with me till 6th month preg. at the start ate lots of fried prawn noodles! with baby, i still stayed active during sis' wedding running all over taking photos for her! did baking and trying new desserts recipes! rest for 2 months from work to make sure little one is safe from running children. planned for little one's mini celebration at mums as it was confirmed that we were gog to keep the full month simple... (in laws wanted it that way! didnt want to trouble anyone to travel all the way...)
was glad i popped into causeway point cold storage before easter and saw the beautiful pretty sweet packages of m&ms! picked it up to check it out and fell in love with it! the colours of the m&m were pastel and lovely! plus point was that some of it has got outline of bunny, duck, sheep imprinted on it! i took a basket and filled it up with variuos m&ms. dark choc, dark choc with almond, milk choc, milk choc with . then i made a second trip to novena cold storge to stock up more! only managed to get 2 packets the day after easter! then i saw the little flowery wrapped up chocs! these were on discount and i grab 6 packets of these! kept these in a safe till May then i packed these into little packages and ribboned them up to give away to visitors at hospital to thank them for taking time to see our little gal! i was happy after i made these parcels! at the hospital, after i told aunt i got these during easter, she was so shocked and asked me HUH still EDIBLE onot! i laughed and told her i not so crazy to give people expired stuff and the expiry date is 2010! easter was like jus 2 months ago from my gal's birth!
so i kept myself very busy, had lunches, hitea with frens and aunt & nesa alot. did quite abit of shopping and bot alot baking utensils too! my baking equip needs storage space! wil do an update on the baking things i bot! the best thing i bot was the rocking horses! i fell in love with them once i saw it! at first i only got enough for my relatives and a few frens for the home party at my mums. but when i suspect and worried that it may become a huge party, i got more of the rocking horses to stand by and i was lucky i did! my plans was to bake cupcakes on my own esp for Rach but with time all for carrying and taking care of my daughter it didnt happened! but i still used them making a few changes to my plans. so as the date came closer, i was a little nervous. i was worried as i felt my gal move down then the next day, no movement, false alarm a few times.... then i decided to ask the gynae to check and i was put on a ecg? test. test results was normal, baby's good. 5th June, doctors etd - doc say not yet move low enough, not engage yet. so we waited till 9th June, computer oscar test etd - doc say baby still not engage and i was not dilated. i told doc i felt her move and i know she did try but somehow she was not engaged. then gynae told us that we can wait for another 3 days but he doubt baby is able to engage so he suggested inducing the baby and c-sec. he said that baby is too big and will be difficult for natural birth and she is not engaged, chances is low that it will be natural birth. i wanted natural birth and no epidural as i was afraid of the side effect.
Many friends said they suffered from backache, but my gynae say it doesnt cause backaches. i wanted full GA but my nice Dr A.L.Lim said that i shouldnt make his job easy! he say he wanted to interact with me, entertain me and most of all, dun want me to miss out my birth experience. to be able to hear my baby's voice, her first cry. Gx and i had talks before about birth choices and knowing that non of the choice was what i wanted, he let me go thru and decide, his main concern is baby and my safety. i trust my gynae and i followed his suggestions. When i was asked which time slot i prefered, gx and i went straight for the earlier time. He knew that i never want to wait if our baby ever need to be c-sec. Thru my aunts' birth experiences, i learn not to wait. one of my aunt for both her birth even went to count auspicious date and time, but she had immediate c-sec instead and she faced danger each time! another aunt had to go thru natural birth for long hours and last minute had immed c-sec and suffered from post-nat blues. I told myself if it ever happens to me, i will take the earliest slot available. the nurses advised us to go register with the hospital counter to make our next day less hectic. That was a very good suggestion as it saved us time the very next day to fill in forms. that nite, i went back to mums to have dinner with my mum. inside me i was alittle uneasy. i always wanted my baby to decide her own birthday. i was also worried about baby's safety. then also we made a last minute decision to go back to my mum's place for confinement. Due to the renovation on the level above us, it made confinement impossible at my in-laws. so when i reach home at almost mid-nite, i started packing up baby things needed to bring over to mums. i didnt finished packing till 1+am. couldnt really sleep as i was still disturb and worried.
On 10th June, i woke up pretty early to shower, i was so much happier when i spot red! i took it as a sign that baby wanted to out that very day! that cheered me up alot. thou the red could be caused by the doc's examination but i took it as a sign and that made me felt more positive. then after the shower, we prayed and then i pulled gx to the room to have a last photo with baby in my tummy! we both set off to tmc on our own 1st. was a little upset that we were arranged to take level 5 exclusive suites which will cost $58 extra a day. the day before, they said they had rooms but the very next day, the single rooms were all fully occupied! i was told that they had level 5 single rooms and if not i had to take 2-bedded. Gx told them to check us in to level 5 as he dun wan me to move around to another room and he knew i didnt want to share room and wanted my own privacy. He was kind enough to make my stay comfortable from the start. when we checked into the room, i asked whats the difference from the rooms on this level to the other single-bedded on other levels. thr nurse pointed to the computer screen attached on the serving table. $58 a day extra for that screen??? after we were left alone in the room, we started to explore. i find the room rather pretty. then i went to open up the curtains to take a peek and i was surprise to see my gynae's clinic directly opposite! whenever i went for checkups i always wonder whats opposite my gynae office. so now i know!
then we went on to explore the touch screen. the very first icon that caught our eyes was GAMES. so we started playing the games and we were hooked. we didnt realise that we played for a long time for almost 2hours+! we stopped as we received a call from my mum who has arrived at the hospital! Due to H1N1, the rules at the hospital has become very strict, limiting the visitors hours to 12-2pm and 6-8pm. Also in a room there can be only 2 visitors at a time! we both exit the games and gx left to try to sneak mum in. then i saw the internet logo! i got excited and clicked on it. yahoo mail page popped up! then i realise i have not checked an impt email! so i logged in and was busy clicking open the files sent to me! i was arranging a surprise wedding celebration for my aunt K. She had organised a party for Nesa to celebrate her last single digit bdae. nesa is 9 this year. So i tot of celebrating Aunt K's 10th wedding anniversary thou it was a few weeks ago! Aunt A was kind enough to offer her help to take charge of ordering the cake. so i was busy looking thru the catalogue and sent the mail to aunt with my comments. mum came in and was surprise i was so busy typing non-stop!
then a nurse popped in and asked why am i now changed! i was dumb-struck and then i told her ... i wasnt told to change! she then told me she will have to spank her nurses! phew, i was really not told! then a nurse came in to help me change. I asked if i could bring my glasses along. i knew no glasses is allowed but i told her i wanted to see my baby and my degree is really making impossible anything at all i didnt have my glasses on... she told me to wear it 1st and have to ask doctor for permission. i was wheeled out of the room lying on the bed ... i see my mum standing at my room door looking at me... worried, so i smiled at her and told her see her soon with her grand-daugther! i was in a cheery mood as i enjoyed playing the games which took my mind off about the op and challenging gx was great fun as we behaved like kidos snatching to play games! then i was "parked" aside as the nurses in the op theatre was still cleaning up and preparing. before the nurses do anything, they always take my record and asked me several questions.
I repeated 3 times to different nurses, my name, my ic no. etc and only the last nurse stayed with me asking if its my 1st baby, what i do for a living, chatting with me almost about anything. our lively conversation was interuppted as it was time to push me into the room. there were a few nurses in there washing up, moving around preparing. then there was this tall guy who is gog to administrate the epidural. he was early as he heard the time wrong, so he was early. then there was this nurse, sorry prob a C. can hear from her accent. she is so ergh! i am not a pc of meat! when i was transfered from bed to the op bed, i was treated like i dun feel pain! aiyo! i am human leh not dead pig! very cholou! she is the worse person i met in the hospital! then i was asked to sit up to have my epidural administrated. its painful! the needle is poked in somewhere above waist level on the spine area... the worse pain comes when the liquid is in... as i typed i feel a shiver... but its bearable... there was a kind nurse who holds on to me as i couch over a pillow with my big baby bump. then i was laid back on the bed. then the nurses put some plastic kind of stuff wrapping my both legs and a machine started to generate a squeeze and release action on my pair of legs. my legs started to feel numb with each squeeze and release. then my gynae came.
i asked him if he will come see me after i give birth, he asked which room am i in, i told him my room is just opposite his clinic room 505. then suddenly the other doc exclaimed thats his car plate no. then my gynae added on that his clinic address is 505! so i told them its wednesday and they should place bets on the lucky number! the doctors chat and the nurses joined in and i was in a good mood and i didnt think much about the op. i did talk to my baby to be brave and see her soon! then the talk gradually stopped and the room was in silence... i started humming a tune. i was not sure if the rest can hear but i just wanted to hum... gx and i have been singing to the baby and one of the song gx loved was rainbow song. Red and yellow and pink and green, orange and purple and blue.... so i hummed and was wondering how come gx haven come in! lucky my gynae asked and they went to get him in.
i smiled at gx as he walked in with a worried look. it was time... i started hearing the metal cling, there was a suction sound like the ones in dental clinic. then suddenly the tall doctor's hand went over me and started pushing my tummy.... there was a green clothe blocking my view so i dun know whats happening over the other side but the bed kept shaking and i can onlyfeel the shaking, no pain felt. thru the doctor's arms i could see gx very worried. i had to move my hands which i was placing over my chest to move the op cap away from my face to look at gx and i gave him a smile and an OK sign. he seemed a little more relief to see me doing that. then we both heard the cry... A VERY LOUD CRY!
little Rachel was out! my gynae brought her over to us and place her over me for a while before the nurse took her for a wash and gx started taking photo of our little gal. then when she return to gx, the doctor took a photo for us, our first family photo! then gx and rach left the room and i was left behind to deliver the placenta. before the op, i had requested to see my placenta as i was curious how it really looks like, how big it was. gx left with the cam and i only vividly remember it was shown to me on a op metal plate and it looked like a pc of raw steak. i oso had my cordblood drawn and donated to Singapore Cordblood bank. then i felt tired and slowly, i know i closed my eyes and when i opened my eyes again, i was out of the theatre and i was being rolled into the lift.
the next moment i woke up i was already in the room. i was surrounded by my in-laws and my parents and Gx. then the nurse wheeled my little gal in and althou i was still in a daze, i got try to breastfeed her for the 1st time. i was determined to fight the sleepness away, i got gx to do up the text and we both informed our frens of our duaghter's arrival and then i tried to talk to everybody in the room but i think somehow i fell asleep again. when i woke up the room was quiet and then our 1st visitor of the evening was my cousin Ben who came with 4 balloons! he represent the rest of the cousins to buy the balloons as a welcome gift for Rach. i proposed to them not to get anything else but balloons to help me make the room more cheery! not only that i like the room with balloons, the nurses liked it too! then the flow of relatives and friends started to stream in non-stop to see our little baby. with the rule it made it so difficult for people to see the baby but i do understand the need for such strict rules.
then wee morning, the nurse came in with the baby and it was our first try at nite feed... it was good to start as then it gradually prep us what it was going to be like everynite from then on. but of cos she was wheeled out back to the nursery and other chores of changing diapers, cuddling her, warming her in the cold air-conditioned room was taken care of... my first day was spent on the bed since 11am... i was on drip and no food. when i asked gx what was it like on his side, he told me that he didnt know c-sec was so violent. he didnt expect that i would be tugged and pushed by the doctors. I told him that i knew. i didnt hear from the doc, dun think gynae want the patients to be scared, he didnt tell me. it was good that Angie shared her experience with me over GFs dinner niteout. from natural birth, she had immed c-sec as her baby was in distress and she never knew what c-sec was liked and she was shocked to be pushed and tugged and she couldnt see a thing. So thank to Angie for sharing her experience, i was more prep mentally.
Gx was amazed how strong i was. he told me he was so worried about me, seeing me lying there and i smiled at him, he was amazed with my strength. according to my mil, gx was alittle in shock to see me go thru the op. he told me the whole floor was very bloody. my gynae told me that the moment he cut, my blood vessels burst! He also said that it was good that we chose to have Rach out in the morning as she had began to poo when she was pulled out! gynae said that it was not an easy delivery!
11th June 2009 Thursday - Our 2nd day. the nurse came in early. She was here to help me get off bed... i remembered Aunt O warned me about getting off bed. She said its hell of pain to sit up and to stand on the 2nd day! i tried to prep myself for it... by its VERY PAINFUL! worse than anything i had the day before! REALLY want to scream! for this tears rolled each move i made... needed support from the nurse and gx. made it to the loo and the nurse helped to clean me up. boy was i sweaty! had cloth to wipe up and i had powder bath! she told me it will be good to walk about to circulate blood all over as i have lied too long on the bed. since it was so difficult to get off the bed, i had phobia getting onto the bed again! i walked and stood and took a seat on the armchairs in the room. the food served at tmc was not bad. gx liked it too and i get soup after dinner. Papaya and fish soup which is good for BF. then i was given milo and snack before bedtime.
above was all written 1 year ago.... i can't remember when i got this typed out.... but i think it was still very fresh when i did it prob within the month i gave birth. its an amazing one year. i am not gog to recall anymore of my days in hospital and the crazy week that we had straight after we left the hospital. it is crazy as we had so much adjustments to make to look after our little baby. she had her nite as day where she would open her eyes to look right back at you and gosh fighting fatigue, lack of sleep was a torture! moreover the 2 crazy new parents played games and talked thru the nite during the stay in the hospital! thou the start was full of unexpected stress, i love that the nags were concerns and i am glad that i was given space after i voiced out that i cannot take the pressure. my dear was supportive, bringing me out to take breaks, to have something nice to make me happier. baby r, you will understand when you become a mummy that it was not an easy transition and you would understand why mummy needed some me-time!
i am still thankful thou i know both mums thinks i am crazy to take up so many decorating classes.... they never stopped me thou. i am lucky to have supportive mum and mil! not forgetting my dearest hubby. he could have scream off his head but i was still given the green light to get away to have a chance to learn what i was interested in and i had tremoudous fun. i hope to be able to use what i learn to create beautiful cakes for my gal's future bdae, decorating the cakes with her in future!
with all the Ups and Downs, i need to thank all my dear friends and relative, esp my mum and my mil, who lend a listening ear, a helping hand, gave me support, praised me when i do something right, remind me, correct me when i am on the wrong path, gave me advice, cared for baby r and me.... showering us with love. THANK YOU for being part of my new journey as a mum, walked thru the sunny and rainy days with us, smiled when you see my entries on my little Ms Pipi's stories, felt sad when i had a bad day and when baby r fell sick... best thing that happened was finding "new" friends - i even reconnected with some long time no see friend like Emily, Irene and Wendy since baby r's arrival! it was great to find supportive people around me virtually.
From the bottom of my heart, i thank you once again. i have to apologise to those who were not invited to the party.... i truly hope you will understand and not be mad at us. to those who showered us with love and gifts, thank you for making the party a wonderful memory for our little family. i hope that everyone had fun and did my baby gal enjoy? she surely did. my mil said so too. she fought her sleepness to catch everyone in action around her. she love her video that i made for her esp the bdae song everyone sang to her.... she clap her tiny hands happily when she see that part! she get all excited when i show it to her again the next day.... she loves her new toys and she grab all the dress to check them out when i showed it to her! got some shots but busy me.... haven got chance to load them into the com!
sadly daddy is away and right now as i am typing.. i am waiting for his call... he is in Shanghai out on dinner & drinking session with clients.... he is missing his dear little gal's 1st bdae, something that he regrets. i know he wants to be here badly. he has been telling me how dearly he missed the both of us... on behalf of papa, i got something for ning ning. baby r will love the present from daddy! everyone will be surprised.... she would know daddy loves her!
see how much i have to say.... i need to go to bed as i have a full day later to make my gal smile as its her special day! my dear ning ning is ONE! thank you for making me smile, cry, pull my hair, laugh till i can't stop! always giving me surprises, achieving your milestones steadily, loving what i cook for you, my dear baby R! mummy loves you. i love it when i sing LOVE ME TENDER and you sleep in my arms. love when i dance with you. love your smile. love your toes! love you for being so pipi! thank you for calling me ...Mummy. muahmuah! hope you like the tortoise i gave you for your birthday! my little sweet heart lets rock and roll together later and have a blasting day on your special day!
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