my dear hubby

the post below is really long overdued! he started typing in the hospital at late nite after baby is being pushed away after the nite feed. i didnt know he completed it yesterday...after reading this at this moment, 1.31pm, helped to cool me down after a nite of frustration. just as gx was gog to meet his dear friend, my tummy started to ache! i had to struggle with a sleepy baby and endure the pain but jus as rach is about to fall into her slumberland, the pain became unbearable and i had to run to the loo... then i start to put Rach to sleep all over again and it happened again and this time the cramps in my tummy tripled! Had no choice but to leave her crying on my bed and i kept using a loud voice to calm her down. i cuddled her to sleep but this time she wot let go... so i made some milk and fed her to calm her down and when she fell asleep... i did too, feeling weak. the com was on all the time as i was trying to find time to update as much as i can but i fell asleep and i woke up i saw gx at the com but i didnt know he was blogging, i went on to get myself a drink and got mn feed bottles ready and went back to sleep after nagging at him to rest. i was in a bad mood and things got worse when i woke up for the wee hours feed! while baby was making lots of noise, i tried very hard to get up as i was suffering from a bad headache and felt giddy and trying to calm my hungry baby while trying to wake gx up to get the milk for rach... i know he doesnt have much time for himself but can't help feeling angry that i was alone at home when i most needed him. need to find the balance... he's been sweet enough as i must tell myself some fathers out there dun sacriface like he does... i cannot fall sick... i need to carry on bravely!